thoughts
when my friends get off school, it makes me feel like i’m jumping straight into summer too. but i have 2 more weeks. although the classes i’m taking left are pretty easy. i’m getting really lazy to the point where i can’t seem to focus and do any productive work. at this point, my whole motivation for school and getting into vet school is diminishing from a little to none.
i can honestly say that skrillex was the most fun i’ve ever had in my life. we had just the right amount to pop and we did it at the right time so it was CRAZZZYYYY. and free body rock? omg, c’mon now.
i wonder if i can actually commit to a gym membership. even though working out is really easy for me to see results. for some reason, i’m just really lazy!
but real talk, no more drugs. i’m starting to see the ugly side of this overall picture. i’ve promised myself to only do it during raves. which means, edc! i don’t understand how people can enjoy it without the right setting and scene. it just disgusts me now.
fuck i’m tired, i don’t want to do these dishes. nor go to school tomorrow.
my thoughts about school.
having a university degree gets you no where. unless you have a research background. but i have no interest in research and advancing technology and modern medicine. so where does that put me and everyone else? at this point of my life, i’m kind of glad I stayed at home. I’ve basically been going to school for free so I don’t have that weight of school debt that I have to pay back. At this point of my life, I’m just worried if I’m going to be successful as an individual. I’ve seen people drop out of college and still become successful. And that’s where I want to be. I don’t need a mansion. or a luxury car. or to show of any of that shit. I just want to be happy and support a family of one daughter and two dogs.
what do i want to do with my life. (!!)
my mindset in life is a lot different now than what I had before (it’s funny how it keeps changing). I think it has to do a lot with motivation. I feel like i’m losing all my motivation to be ambitious. I don’t think i’m cut out to be on the top of my class and move on to taking my GRE’s and make it into vet school in UC Davis. I’m taking these fucking hard ass classes because i think that’s what I SHOULD do. I’m going to school because it’s safe. It’s hiding myself away from the real world until the day I graduate and say to myself “now what the fuck do i do?”. I thought grad school was the answer but I’m quickly changing my mind. The costs of vet school will be outrageous and the stress and work to be on top of the next person is way to tough with my already good grades. It just makes me go back to thinking what i want to do with my life. I absolutely love my job at dog days, especially working with the two best bosses in the business. The question is, should I really leave and see what else is out there for me? What if i hate it? I know this way of thinking is just being me being a pussy and going and experiencing what I haven’t yet. and that’s not me but I’m getting to that settling mindset where I shouldn’t change what is already going good in my life.
on the side of my career. If I wasn’t in school, I would most definitely get a dog. I know stacy is too old to become curious to make new friends but i feel as if i introduce her to one dog repeatedly, it will open her up. stacy is a doing great on her own right now, but i really do miss scotty and i want another dog to fill his former role in the house.
so question is, do i give up on going to vet school and go with what i enjoy most about my life, being with these dogs. or do i follow through and try to make money in my life as a vet. life would be so much easier if i drop vet school and just get my BS in psych and stay at dog days, with a new puppy in the house. #iknowmylifeislame
